What I Fear

Lisa Cox

I’m not afraid of the dark
Nor monsters under the bed
Spiders make me shiver
Snakes fascinate. . . . .
Once I feared
The mushroom cloud
The droning sound overhead
The wailing siren
Never ceasing wailing undulating wailing every rising wailing falling wailing calling wailing yelling wailing wailing wailing
Until all the fear
Bled out
Only salty tears remain

I live in this land
That is what I
Feared
Not far away
But close
Close enough
To see
Bruises
To smell
Vomit
To hear
Babbling incoherence
Who’s to
Fear the
Dark
When standing
On broken
Legs?
Who’s to
Fear the dark
As incessant sound
Shrills into
Frail ear drums

Hahaha ha ha, hahaha ha ha, hahaha ha ha, haha ha ha ha, hah ha ha ha

The line between
Life and death
Is measured in
The water capacity
Of lungs
Hang me from
My wrists
Let me quote
Christ
While you scream
About terrorist, bombs, networks
Lock me away
In a cold
Black site
Tell
Them
I died
No matter
We accept
Death as
Our birthright
I am not
Afraid
Of the dark

I fear only cowards
Afraid to walk
Into dungeons
Writing
Memos
Cloaked
In flags
Hiding
Behind titles
And privilege
Executive and other

I fear this grief
Will drown me
My lungs have
Not the capacity
To hold it
I am not afraid of the dark

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